Party Etiquette, Part 2

Proper party etiquette is mostly a matter of common sense, though you often see violations at every party. For those that need a refresher course, here are some:

1) If you bring beer/food, it's in bad taste to take any remaining beer/food with you when you leave--what you brought needs to stay at the party. If you brought way more than you thought you or others would eat/drink, then just plan better next time--it's just not right to walk out with it and looks petty. The exception to this is if the host insists, by saying "please, take some, I'm going to have way too many leftovers".

2) If you bring beer/food, don't freak out if other guests have some of yours. The idea of a party is to share, and of course you should feel free to sample some of what they brought (of course if they show up empty handed, then that's lousy--but not worth fighting over). The exception is if you only drink Zima because you're a tool and so you really can't have anything else and if others take it you'll be stuck drinking tap water.

3) If you're waiting to use the bathroom, don't bang on the door--it'll only make whoever's in there take longer. In turn, if you're the one in there, try and be quick. DON'T bring your friends in there to chat/have sex with. Others may need to pee! Go have sex or talk in your car. No one will be trying to get in there, believe me.

4) Don't fuck around with the host's electronic equipment or appliances without asking first.

5) If the host says "come at 8" then feel free to show up any time after that (though make sure if it's going to be after midnight that's fine with the host). You can show up earlier if you're close buddies and are helping set up. The exception is for dinner parties or other things where showing up late will disrupt--then show up on time or let the host know. You know what sucks more than waiting for someone who didn't let you know they'd be late? Being hungry while waiting.

6) Campground rule--don't break anything or leave trash around.

7) NEVER have the TV on at a party, that's total lameass loser behavior. There are of course two exceptions to this--(a) if the party is related to something TV, such as Superbowl, or last episode of Seinfeld, or karaoke; and (b) if the TV is used solely for background effect (like playing colors). When you get to a standard party and some dorks are sitting around a TV it is at about the same level as getting to a party and they're doing crossword puzzles.

8) Be nice and friendly to everyone there, no exceptions. If you're not feeling friendly feel free to stay home.