Beer Snobs!

We've all encountered the species "Beerium Snobberius", the fellow who will snort and complain if the fanciest beer available in the bar is Sam Adams, and he (it's almost always a guy) will harrangue the bartender to find out if maybe just maybe they're hiding a keg of Rogue's Dead Guy Ale Special Reserve down in the basement, hopefully not even touching the other kegs of Bud and Miller. Beer snobs will bring their own beer to a party not just because it's proper etiquette (more on that later) but because if they are forced to ruin their palate with something lowbrow (like, say, Lowenbrau, which is German for "sell this to Americans, they'll buy anything that sounds German") then it could change life as we know it. Beer snobs will roll their eyes if you order a Molson. Beer snobs will talk way too long about the intricacies of what they're drinking.

Now, I appreciate the fine stuff as much as the next guy. Despite being raised in a household where there were no fine beers, my early beer drinking experiences were with a group of beer snobs and so all we stuck with were imports and microbrews, and Lord help you if you ordered a Bud with that group. (One guy showed up once with a 40oz. of Budweiser, and he was mercilessly taunted. Of course this could also be because his pants were soaked such that it appeared he'd lost control of his bladder. But the beverage was also part of the general mockery). As I got to college, other forces were involved--such as the fact that very few keg parties had Guinness on draft! And so I learned to slum it, drink what was there, and you know what? There's a time and place for it, and that time is "when Bud is on special" and that place is "wherever". Then of course it also makes sense on a hot day to go with something lighter and more refreshing, where a heavy rich ale will not do, and a Coors Light will hit the spot, and at those times I just try to use mind over matter and pretend I'm drinking a very light Czech pilsener (this doesn't work).

What is my advice to newbies, just getting started in the world of beer? (By this I mean people who are 21, of course! No one drinks until then I've been told) Be versatile--there are fine beverages out there that you'll want to try out and discover, and this can be fun and educational (okay, well at least fun). But don't become one of those insufferable types who can't drink anything that wasn't hand-brewed by Belgian monks. That's just weak.